I am sorry but I find your post completely contradictory!
First you say:
I would be mortified if Rafe ever attacked another dog for simply bumping into him. And I would tell him off
Then you say:
[But I wouldn’t want him to barge into another dog. And if he did, and he has in the past, I’ve told owners of dogs which have growled or snapped at him that he deserved it for being rude.
And where in her article has she said that it is unfair to set high standards for your dog’s behaviour?
THIS is what this article is all about!
Setting high standards for your dog so that you are aware of what is good etiquette and how to prevent a dog exhibiting Tarzan like behaviour and NOT punishing a dog for protecting its space when it is invaded by a rude dog!