A Dog’s Letter to God!!

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  • #61789
    *Nat*
    Member

     
       
                           
          TO:  GOD      FROM: THE  DOG

    Dear  God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever,  smell one another?                   

    Dear God:  When we get to  heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same  old story?

    Dear  God:  Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the  cougar, the mustang, the  colt, the stingray, and the  rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a  cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so  hard to rename the ‘Chrysler Eagle’ the ‘Chrysler Beagle’? 

    Dear God:  If a dog barks his head off in  the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad  dog?

    Dear God:  We dogs can understand human  verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,  horns,  clickers, beepers, scent ID’s, electromagnetic energy  fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand? 

    Dear God:  More meatballs, less  spaghetti, please.

    Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If  there are, will I have to apologize?

    Dear God:  Let me give you a list of just  some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

    1. I will not eat the cats’ food before they  eat it or after they throw it up. 

    2. I will  not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I  like the way they smell.

    3. The Litter Box is not a  cookie jar.

    4. The sofa is not a ‘face  towel’.

    5. The garbage collector is not stealing our  stuff.

    6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s  underwear when he’s on the toilet.

    7.  Sticking  my nose into someone’s crotch is an unacceptable way of  saying ‘hello’.

    8. I don’t need to suddenly stand  straight up when I’m under the coffee  table

    9.  I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the  house – not after.

    10. I will not come in f rom  outside and immediately drag my butt on the rug.

    11.  I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my  crotch.

    12. The cat is not a ‘squeaky toy’ so when I  play with him and he makes that noise, it’s usually not a  good thing.

    P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my  testicles  back? 

    ;D
       

       

    #113633
    Izzie
    Member

    😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

    #113634

    oh i loved that, great!  😀

    #113635
    xtine
    Member

    Like that one  ;D

    #113636
    *Lassie*
    Member

    Between them my two break all 12 rules ::)
    Tam and the cat litter tray :-X

    Dear God:  We dogs can understand human  verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles,  horns,  clickers, beepers, scent ID’s, electromagnetic energy  fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
    very true 🙂
    LOVE the PS ;D

    #113637
    Misty23
    Member

    Fantastic 😀 😀

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