Albert and the Lion

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  • #62498
    GSPmad
    Member

    You have to have heard this one before… but it’s still worth reading again.  ;D ;D ;D

    Albert and the Lion
       

      There’s a famous seaside place called Blackpool,
    That’s noted for fresh air and fun,
    And Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom
    Went there with young Albert, their son.

    A grand little lad was young Albert,
    All dressed in his best; quite a swell
    With a stick with an ‘orse’s ‘ead ‘andle,
    The finest that Woolworth’s could sell.

    They didn’t think much of the Ocean:
    The waves, they were fiddlin’ and small,
    There was no wrecks and nobody drownded,
    Fact, nothing to laugh at at all.

    So, seeking for further amusement,
    They paid and went into the Zoo,
    Where they’d Lions and Tigers and Camels,
    And old ale and sandwiches too.

    There were one great big Lion called Wallace;
    His nose were all covered with scars –
    He lay in a somnolent posture,
    With the side of his face on the bars.

    Now Albert had heard about Lions,
    How they was ferocious and wild –
    To see Wallace lying so peaceful,
    Well, it didn’t seem right to the child.

    So straightway the brave little feller,
    Not showing a morsel of fear,
    Took his stick with its ‘orse’s ‘ead ‘andle
    And pushed it in Wallace’s ear.

    You could see that the Lion didn’t like it,
    For giving a kind of a roll,
    He pulled Albert inside the cage with ‘im,
    And swallowed the little lad ‘ole.

    Then Pa, who had seen the occurence,
    And didn’t know what to do next,
    Said ‘Mother! Yon Lion’s ‘et Albert’,
    And Mother said ‘Eeee, I am vexed!’

    Then Mr and Mrs Ramsbottom –
    Quite rightly, when all’s said and done –
    Complained to the Animal Keeper,
    That the Lion had eaten their son.

    The keeper was quite nice about it;
    He said ‘What a nasty mishap.
    Are you sure that it’s your boy he’s eaten?’
    Pa said “Am I sure? There’s his cap!’

    The manager had to be sent for.
    He came and he said ‘What’s to do?’
    Pa said ‘Yon Lion’s ‘et Albert,
    ‘And ‘im in his Sunday clothes, too.’

    Then Mother said, ‘Right’s right, young feller;
    I think it’s a shame and a sin,
    For a lion to go and eat Albert,
    And after we’ve paid to come in.’

    The manager wanted no trouble,
    He took out his purse right away,
    Saying ‘How much to settle the matter?’
    And Pa said “What do you usually pay?’

    But Mother had turned a bit awkward
    When she thought where her Albert had gone.
    She said ‘No! someone’s got to be summonsed’ –
    So that was decided upon.

    Then off they went to the P’lice Station,
    In front of the Magistrate chap;
    They told ‘im what happened to Albert,
    And proved it by showing his cap.

    The Magistrate gave his opinion
    That no one was really to blame
    And he said that he hoped the Ramsbottoms
    Would have further sons to their name.

    At that Mother got proper blazing,
    ‘And thank you, sir, kindly,’ said she.
    ‘What waste all our lives raising children
    To feed ruddy Lions? Not me!’

    Marriott Edgar

    This is my favourite verse  😀 ….

    Then Pa, who had seen the occurence,
    And didn’t know what to do next,
    Said ‘Mother! Yon Lion’s ‘et Albert’,
    And Mother said ‘Eeee, I am vexed!’

    #113959

    😀 😀 😀

    #113960
    *Lassie*
    Member

    They played that on the radio when I was a kid ;D

    #113961
    Anonymous
    Guest

    ;D ;D I liked that

    nice siggy Lassie ;D

    #113962
    *Lassie*
    Member

    [quote author=jaydex link=topic=12944.msg249083#msg249083 date=1225733654]
    ;D ;D I liked that

    nice siggy Lassie ;D

    [/quote]

    One of Laura’s 😉 she wasn’t sure about it and was going to do some more but she is too busy at the mo
    Terry, the sig you did for me can you send me the link again pretty please  :-* tried to copy it and lost it instead :embarrass: ::)

    #113963
    GSPmad
    Member

    [quote author=*Lassie* link=topic=12944.msg249086#msg249086 date=1225734664]
    [quote author=jaydex link=topic=12944.msg249083#msg249083 date=1225733654]
    ;D ;D I liked that

    nice siggy Lassie ;D

    [/quote]

    One of Laura’s 😉 she wasn’t sure about it and was going to do some more but she is too busy at the mo
    Terry, the sig you did for me can you send me the link again pretty please  :-* tried to copy it and lost it instead :embarrass: ::)
    [/quote]

    will do if i can find it again. i may have lost it in the maligolds.  😀

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