did you have problems bonding?

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  • #62935
    deebee
    Member

    i know we are all dedicated dog lovers here but i need to ask this.

    i’m not talking about the moments they exasperate you, or when you have trouble finding the right place for them when you go abroad.

    i’ll explain more why i ask if i get any answers  8)

    #111138
    .dodger.
    Member

    not quite sure what you mean exactly, trouble bonding in which way?

    i had trouble bonding with dodger at a certain point – when he hit 6 months. I was seriously ready to give him away back then.. could explain more if it’s the answer you are looking for ???

    #111139

    No not at all – I dont wish for this to sound soppy or silly but was meant to be – the second I saw Honey I knew she had to come home with me,  🙂

    #111140
    deebee
    Member

    dodger, thats him pressing your buttons, a shift in your relationship as he grows.

    suz, you bonded on sight? or was it puppy love  ;D

    #111141
    .dodger.
    Member

    yeah i agree that some of it was him at that teenage stage (something i had never dealt with before) but it went much deeper than that :yes:

    #111142
    deebee
    Member

    i must clarify, his/her bonding to you aswell.

    #111143

    😀
    yep on sight deebee, i needed her and vice versa,she is exactly what i needed then and what i need now – and except when at work she chooses to be with me, shes not so grossly dependent on me that i cant be out of her sight but she knows hwat i want without me always asking – yep id say we bonded well and its stayed  🙂

    #111144
    deebee
    Member

    that is the absolute ideal.  thats great to hear. 

    #111145

    [quote author=SuzAndTheDiva link=topic=13497.msg258119#msg258119 date=1232399453]
    😀
    yep on sight deebee, i needed her and vice versa,she is exactly what i needed then and what i need now – and except when at work she chooses to be with me, shes not so grossly dependent on me that i cant be out of her sight but she knows hwat i want without me always asking – yep id say we bonded well and its stayed  🙂
    [/quote]

    Suz, thats exactly the same for me!!

    From the moment i first saw her, this confident spunky little pup who clambered on to my knee, it was love and she remains devoted to me.  When i first got her, I used to start work at 7am so i always got up at 6am,before anyone else.  She used to lie in my arms upside down like a baby, licking tea off my finger.  Despite now being 26k she still lies in my arms in the same way+i adore her, i don’t know what id do without her around!

    #111146

    [quote author=deebee link=topic=13497.msg258120#msg258120 date=1232399708]
    that is the absolute ideal.  thats great to hear. 
    [/quote]

    yep and it doesnt happen with everydog – is not like that for me with the familly collie, though him and my mum have an incredibly strong bond.

    Yep Foxy Honey does the same, in the mornings she snuggles under the cover and lays in my arms for a cuddle, is my fave time of the day – and at ngiht whenever i wake up shes snuggled up right close to me normally my back or knees, I cant imagine one day her not just being there  :-\

    #111147

    Me and Jessie are joined at the hip!!  ;D i have a bond with her stonger than any other dog i have had before  :-*

    #111148
    Justine&Rafe
    Member

    Deebee – I did NOT bond with Rafe immediately.

    I’d been sooooo excited about this pup, made huge preparations for him, put my name down for him before the litter was conceived… I wanted him sooo much.

    Then I picked him up.  And he screamed for 5 1/2 hours (by the time I’d got him I’d moved a long way away from the breeder), pooed in his travel cage and got it EVERYWHERE….

    I felt like I’d made the biggest mistake.

    And we didn’t bond when I’d got him back.  I liked him, but felt like I’d bitten off more than I could chew.  For the first few weeks I was just in a state of worry…  Worry that I’d separated him from his family and put him through so much trauma, worry that he was eating OK, worry that his diet wouldn’t cause him to have any joint problems, worr that he was pooing in the right place, worry that he was healthy…

    It took a long time for me to bond with him, although to my great shame he worshipped the ground I walked on from, well, let’s say day 2.

    And I too suffered the change in his nature when he hit 10 months, but yes, that was different, because he was already my friend.

    And he’s one of my best friends now.  I still worry that I’m not good enough for him, but I know he adores me, and I adore him.  I miss him when we are apart.  And I try my best.

    Hope that helps you somewhat  🙂

    #111149
    Sweetypye
    Member

    I did not bond with one of my current dogs immediately as I had done on all previous and subsequent one(s).

    On reflection I think I should have had a different breed post the loss of the previous one.

    When I lose one of the ones I have at present I will replace the dog with another breed to give me breathing space……………

    #111150
    deebee
    Member

    [quote author=xxpsychexx link=topic=13497.msg258145#msg258145 date=1232446343]

    And we didn’t bond when I’d got him back.  I liked him, but felt like I’d bitten off more than I could chew.  For the first few weeks I was just in a state of worry…  Worry that I’d separated him from his family and put him through so much trauma, worry that he was eating OK, worry that his diet wouldn’t cause him to have any joint problems, worr that he was pooing in the right place, worry that he was healthy…

    [/quote]

    thats how i felt about Max.

    And he’s one of my best friends now.  I still worry that I’m not good enough for him, but I know he adores me, and I adore him.  I miss him when we are apart.  And I try my best.

    again, my feelings.

    i ‘saved’ him from a realtive whos husband was going to sell him as they couldnt cope. i felt i was ready for another dog after 10 months of my husband dying. the timing of them wanting rid and me wanting seemed right.

    BUT, i was/am still in a bit of an emotional bubble.  i found i was doing all you say, caring for him, wanting to do my best for him etc, but didnt have ‘that’ connection. he seemed the same. beat myself up about it as well. 

    went away over christmas, Bev had him (lucky Bev lol) and i think we both missed each other equally, i like to think.  maybe it was just a shift in me that allowed him to bond to me i dont know. something changed though thats for sure.

    now, instead of ‘i will do it i suppose but give me a treat’ it seems ‘you would like me to do that? yeahh id love to,  oh, a treat too, what a bonus!!!’  (exclusion is dogs). we interact alot more, cuddles and on the floor playing instead of holding the ragga while he pulled. i would silly voice etc, but he must have been able to tell that i was trying too hard to be jolly. that sounds bad but its true.

    tomorrow i might think differently  >:D

    #111151
    deebee
    Member

    that was another concern of mine sweetypye, my previous dog had been a black lab male. i was worried i would compare Max unfavourably.  apart from the occasional times and the obvious lab traits, i havent done it and not for a good while. they are preety much completely different.

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