Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed
> up our life we could simply press ‘Ctr- Alt- Delete’
> and start all over?
>
> If raising children was going to be easy, it
> never would have started with something called
> ‘labor!’
>
> Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat
> cells live forever.
>
> I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I
> learned that most people die of natural causes.
>
> Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to
> make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant
> is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it
> is a valuable plant.
>
> The easiest way to find something lost around
> the house is to buy a replacement
>
>
> In the 60’s, people took acid to make the
> world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac
> to make it normal.
>
> How is it one careless match can start a
> forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
>
> Who was the first person to look at a cow and
> say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here
> and drink whatever comes out?’
>
>
> Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you
> get undressed if he’s going to look up there anyway?
>
>
> A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra: Hard to
> Find, Supportive, Comfortable, And Always Close To Your
> Heart!
>
> Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out
> alive anyway!