Hell Explained by a Chemistry Student:
The following is an actual question given on a of chemistry midterm.
The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well!
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs
heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in
time. So we need to know the rate at
Which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they
are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not
leave. Therefore, no
Souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at
the different religions
That exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you
are not a member of their
Religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one
of these religions and since people do
Not belong to more than one religion, we can project that
all souls go to Hell. With birth and
Death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls
in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell
because Boyle’s Law states that in order
For the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same,
the volume of Hell has to expand
Proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the
rate at which souls enter Hell, then the
Temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks
loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls
in Hell, then the
Temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So
which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, ‘It will be a cold
Day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I
slept with her last night,
Then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and
has already frozen
Over. The corollary of this theory is, that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not
Accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct……leaving only Heaven,
thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last
night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+
.
