i need my bev :(

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  • #63125
    Anonymous
    Guest

    i am really missing bev – it seems so lonely without a little natter to her everyday ! 

    i feel so awful because i need to unload some stuff and i know she will have helpful words of advice and support but its so selfish to want this when she is going through such a difficult and emotional time.  i feel so torn – i desperately want to just see her even for a little while even writing this is making me tearful because i miss her so much and there just seems no end to her pain i wish i could take it all away for her and have my friend back.

    she’s missed so much now my little Harry is 3 and he still hasnt been to visit Mo … he’s all toilet trained and in big boy pants and even walks william for me sometimes.  we all miss her an absolute ton but i just cant bring myself to call its so stupid and selfish 🙁  gaaah !!!

    come back soon – i miss you  :'(

    claire x

    #115377
    *Lassie*
    Member

    You could always phone or text a message of love and support to them or send a sympathy card.
    If you need to offload stuff is there no-one else you can talk to, a health visitor or counsellor.
    You could write it all down you may then find things clearer in your head.
    Is there no – one else you are close to on here? 

    #115378
    Justine&Rafe
    Member

    I know what you mean, Claire!

    And you can always offload on me, but I do realise what you mean – Bev just KNOWS.  And I’d only had a few Bev visits – can only imagine is even harder when you’d become such good friends.

    Besides which – who else can sort out your doggy problems with just a wave of black pudding?

    If you fancy a brew or a glass of wine, just give me a call.  And if nothing else, we’ll have a good catch up next week.  :-* (but a bit slobberier – from Rafe)  and hugs from me xxx

    #115379
    Justine&Rafe
    Member

    Besides which, in Bev’s absence you’re my closest doggy expert, so I’m going to need your help/advice over the coming few weeks with mr jumpy.

    #115380
    deebee
    Member

    Lassie, you said it nicer i than i could.

    claire, we all need to offload stuff and speaking to Bev everyday is a benefit most of us havent had. i can see that if you have been used to speaking to her regularly it will seem difficult not to.

    wanting her pain to go away so you can have your friend back makes me …………..

    call her, text or email, but i would be suprised if Bev was thinking about Harrys big boys pants atm.

    #115381
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Hi,

    thank u everyone – its not just doggie stuff i talked to bev about, its more pretty much everything and anything and so much major is going on for me at the moment !

    i have talked to someone today i dont know if i have done the right thing or not or even if they take any notice of me.  i mean you keep hearing scares about the social failing families all the time like that baby p i am not saying its as bad as that but i am really worried and i am sooo out of my knowledge depth here and Bev does … just know !

    Claire x

    #115382
    xtine
    Member

    What kind of support network do you have Claire? Is there anyone / anything for when you are particularly ‘suffering’?
    I can’t see Bev being back on here for a while yet.. she’s had so much to deal with, she needs her own time and to look after herself a bit  😉 (and Mo and dogs and sisters) We / you are going to have to be patient me thinks

    #115383
    Mudgie
    Member

    Bev and I texted each other quite a lot today Claire – send her a text might do her good to take her mind off her own stuff – she has had a pretty shit time of it in the last couple of weeks  :-[

    However she is still Bev, strong, stubborn, upbeat and just gets on with it  p:-)  Sometimes she needs a kick up the butt – but dont we all  ;D

    I love her to bits and she is a superstar but sometimes she is a petulant teenager  ;D and so bloody stubborn  ;D but suffice to say that lately she has had her share of sh*t so to know she is being missed and is appreciated would probably be very welcome.  :-*

    #115384
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Hi,

    just a quickie …

    xtine – thats part of the problem … NHS have cut all funding to long term support to the services i was using twice a week – to nothing in a week !  typical me tho i am also supporting someone else who seemingly cannot make it through the weekend without having some major crisis so the last 2 weekends i’ve had to deal with her too !!

    i have barely heard from bev this year, i wish i knew why as shes obviously speaking to other ppl 🙁  ah well.

    Claire x

    #115385
    xtine
    Member

    Maybe she is responding to texts that people are sending her?

    #115386

    hi claire i imagine its more that other people are contacting her rather than the other way around  🙂

    #115387
    CKSuki
    Member

    [quote author=piglet link=topic=13720.msg260961#msg260961 date=1234989450]
    Hi,

    thank u everyone – its not just doggie stuff i talked to bev about, its more pretty much everything and anything and so much major is going on for me at the moment !

    i have talked to someone today i dont know if i have done the right thing or not or even if they take any notice of me.  i mean you keep hearing scares about the social failing families all the time like that baby p i am not saying its as bad as that but i am really worried and i am sooo out of my knowledge depth here and Bev does … just know !

    Claire x
    [/quote]

    I do not wish to speak out of turn here, however . . . . . . You have to take some responsibility for yourself too. It is great that Bev is your friend and is ‘there for you’,  but for me, this thread smacks a little of attention seeking at a very inappropriate time.  If you are desperate to seek help with the problems that you are vaguely alluding to, then there are appropriate specific services and protocols in place to help.

    Social services are contactable 24/7 and are very qualified to answer your direct questions.

    🙂

    #115388
    Anonymous
    Guest
    quote :

    I do not wish to speak out of turn here, however

    you will anyway because you seemingly just cannot help yourself to be hurtful and nasty ??

    i stopped thinking anything you had to say was of value the day you accused me of being like the people who murdered your brother so please feel free to not bother ‘commenting’ any further !!!

    :nono:

    #115389
    CKSuki
    Member

    [quote author=piglet link=topic=13720.msg261382#msg261382 date=1235547172]

    quote :

    I do not wish to speak out of turn here, however

    you will anyway because you seemingly just cannot help yourself to be hurtful and nasty ??

    i stopped thinking anything you had to say was of value the day you accused me of being like the people who murdered your brother so please feel free to not bother ‘commenting’ any further !!!

    :nono:

    [/quote]

    Wow, you really are something else, I accused you of being narrow minded, which you are.

    In addition, this is a discussion board, so I will feel free to comment whenever I choose.

    🙂

    #115390
    Anonymous
    Guest

    I find it telling that the passive-aggressive form is used here to communicate negative, hurtful comments which are essentially framed in a pleasing acceptable way.  As happens in many cases with this type of behaviour the accuser sets up the accusee to frame them as emotionally deviant (in this case the accusation of child-like behaviour) when they themselves are conveying such information in a child-like manner.  It is a simple reflection of an outlook they struggle with personally onto someone else in an attempt to cope with certain situations.

    It also appears that this user has little or no idea of the consequences of their previous actions in clearly and explicitly tying together their (somewhat deviant) assumption that I am ‘narrow minded’ and the murder of her brother.  Like most people I would naturally regret that this happened whatever the reason and find it slightly disconcerting to choose to abuse people by attempting to inflict guilt for his death.

    Claire.

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