Letters sent to Landlords

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  • #62200
    GSPmad
    Member

    This is quite an old one now so you may have seen it already – was sent it about 10 years ago, but came across it the other day and still amuses me.  ;D

    Genuine excerpts from letters sent to landlords…..

    1. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared.

    2. I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

    3. This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the man next door.

    4. The toilet seat is cracked: where do I stand?  ;D ;D ;D

    5. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is running away from the wall.

    6. I request your permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

    7. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

    8. The person next door has a large erection in his back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

    9. Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk? Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.

    10. Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and would like a third, so will you please send someone to do something about it?

    11. Will you please send a man to look at my water? It is a funny colour and not fit to drink.  😀

    12. Would you please send a man to repair my downspout? I am an old-age pensioner and need it straight away.

    13. Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap? My wife got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.

    14. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 5.30 his cock wakes me up, and it is getting too much.

    15. When the workmen were here, they put their tools in my wife’s new drawers and made a mess. Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy.

    16. Please fix the hole in my living room wall, coz it’s not funny any more like.

    #113798

    😀 😀 😀 😀 thats great

    #113799

    :canadian: :canadian:

    #113800
    -Alison-
    Member

    rofpmsl  😀 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

    #113801
    Prem2Pram
    Member

    Funny  😀

    #113802
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Like it  ;D

    #113803
    *Lassie*
    Member

    Good one ;D

    #113804

    ::)  😀 😀

    #113805
    Diesel73
    Member

    It’s said correct and yet not, but still, I like this one the most  >:D ==>

    quote :

    14. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 5.30 his cock wakes me up, and it is getting too much.

    #113806
    GSPmad
    Member

    i loved that one too diesel – and incidentally i have also been having problems with someone’s cock recently – it seems to think dawn goes on for a veeeeeeeeeeeeery long time….  >:D nd yes i do mean a cockerel  😀 – can’t stand the noise they make….

    #113807
    Diesel73
    Member

    [quote author=GSPmad link=topic=12559.msg242937#msg242937 date=1222632511]
    i loved that one too diesel – and incidentally i have also been having problems with someone’s cock recently – it seems to think dawn goes on for a veeeeeeeeeeeeery long time….  >:D nd yes i do mean a cockerel  😀 – can’t stand the noise they make….
    [/quote]
    Well, there is only 1 remedy for it, work harder during the day and you’ll sleep tight enough so it can’t wake you up  >:D .  😀  😉  :-*

    If you get along with the owner, ask him to move his chickenhouse. More out of the spot where the sun comes up. The longer it takes for a cock to sence a hint of daylight, the longer it takes for him to start shouting ; WAKE UP!
    Doesn’t work 100% bulletproof, but is effective lots of the time. 😉

    #113808
    kizkiznobite
    Member

    i love it..i love to hear them….i love the way they do the errmmm is it dawn thats a coming ok will just in case we do a trial run…and then kick in…nice noise  ;D

    #113809

    9. Will you please send someone to mend our cracked sidewalk? Yesterday my wife tripped on it and is now pregnant.

    love this one  :canadian:

    #113810
    GSPmad
    Member

    [quote author=kizkiznobite link=topic=12559.msg243019#msg243019 date=1222710172]
    i love it..i love to hear them….i love the way they do the errmmm is it dawn thats a coming ok will just in case we do a trial run…and then kick in…nice noise  ;D
    [/quote]

    have told you before… you are welcome to it.  >:D will stick a stamp on its bum and pop it in the post if you like and if I can find it… can only hear it, seems to be well hidden…. bet it would be good roasted.  >:D >:D

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