one for the blokes….

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  • #62219
    GSPmad
    Member

    ….it’s a complete load of tosh mind you – but some of it is quite funny anyway.  ;D and yes, unsurprisingly it came from a bloke… think the last 2 points have gone awol though….

    Rules All Girls Should Know

    1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

    2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it’s up, put it down.

    3. Don’t cut your hair. Ever.

    4. Birthdays, Valentines and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present – again!

    5. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

    6. Sometimes he’s not thinking about you. Live with it.

    7. Don’t ask him what he’s thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, football and Formula 1 racing.

    8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it’s not different, it’s just like every other cat.

    9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

    10. Saturday=Sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

    11. Shopping is not sport.

    12. Anything you wear is fine. Really.

    13. You have enough clothes.

    14. You have too many shoes.

    15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don’t expect us to like it.

    16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too.

    17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.

    18. No, he doesn’t know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries and your birthday on a calendar.

    19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We’re bound to miss sometimes.

    20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

    21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

    22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.  😀

    23. Your Mum doesn’t have to be our best friend.

    24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

    25. Check your oil and put petrol in the car.

    26. Don’t give us 50 rules when 25 will do.

    27. Don’t fake it. We’d rather be ineffective than deceived.

    28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the compatibility quiz together.

    29. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

    30. If you don’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.  ???

    31. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.  ;D ;D ;D

    32. Let us ogle. If we don’t look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

    33. Don’t rub the lamp if you don’t want the genie to come out.  😮

    34. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done – not both.

    35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during advertising breaks.

    36. Christopher Columbus didn’t need directions, and neither do we.  😀 😀

    37. Women wearing wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

    38. Consider golf a mini-holiday from you. We need it, just like you do.

    39. Telling us tht the models in the men’s magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it’s certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.

    40. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

    41. Anyone can buy condoms.

    42. PMT is your problem – we don’t want to hear about it.

    43. Phone calls do not have to be a minimum of 30 minutes in duration.

    44. Banks accept deposits.

    45. Dust is not a life threatening disease.

    46. Parking is not like brain surgery. You probably can manage it eventually.  ::)

    47. Science fiction should include naked women.

    48. If leaving clothes on the floor is a reason for divorce – Don’t Marry.

    #113823
    *Lassie*
    Member

    17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don’t work.

    That one is defiantly true ::) ;D

    #113824
    *Nick*
    Member

    Every single point in that is gods honest truth!  It’s like you read my mind.

    :laugh: :laugh:

    #113825

    This has just caused an arguement between me+OH because he felt so strongly about the toilet seat one  ::)  :boooo: :boooo:

    #113826
    *Nick*
    Member

    But it’s true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Who in their right mind wouldn’t look down before planting their naked hiney on a toilet seat????????

    😀

    #113827
    GSPmad
    Member

    [quote author=*Nick* link=topic=12582.msg243146#msg243146 date=1222722571]
    But it’s true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Who in their right mind wouldn’t look down before planting their naked hiney on a toilet seat????????

    😀
    [/quote]

    and why is it so difficult just to put the thing back down where it ought to be?  ::) ;D

    #113828
    xtine
    Member

    PMSLOL I am not showing R that!!!

    I am very guilty of  45 Dust is not a life threatening disease

    altho strictly speaking it kind of is to me…. but R would so go on strike if he read any of this  😀

    Please delete this thread immediately  :order:

    #113829
    *Lassie*
    Member

    45. Dust is not a life threatening disease.

    Unless it’s on the telly screen and there is a film on he wants to watch ;D

    #113830
    *Nick*
    Member

    RIIIIIIIIIIIIICHAAAAAAAAAAAARD!!!  RIIIIIICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD!

    #113831
    xtine
    Member

    shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!  :nono:  :nono:

    he busy doing the ironing  😉  😀

    #113832
    *Nick*
    Member

    He is NOT!!!!    :scared: :surprise:

    You LIE!!!!!

    #113833
    xtine
    Member

    I don’t lie  ;D am marrying a domestic god  :yes:

    #113834
    *Nick*
    Member

    what is this world coming to?  :'( :'( :'(

    #113835
    xtine
    Member

    😀 nowt wrong with a man that can cook and clean  😉

    #113836
    GSPmad
    Member

    [quote author=xtine link=topic=12582.msg243269#msg243269 date=1222796536]
    😀 nowt wrong with a man that can cook and clean  😉
    [/quote]

    quite the opposite.  ;D

    you want to write a training manual xtine?  😀

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