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Philosophy for drinking :D

Home Archive Forums General Category Jokes and Poems section Philosophy for drinking :D

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    wee_shee
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    Some people might call it denial, I prefer common sense. Just keep blocking those shameful memories…

    If there isn’t hard evidence… photos/videos, police reports, tattoos… it didn’t happen!

    It also doesn’t matter who tells you of your alleged behaviour of the night before… mother, best friend, priest… if you can’t remember then they are just cruel people who are lying to you, no matter what’s said/done/proven in court, if there are no coherent memories of it then it didn’t happen.

    Unless i’m there to witness the events. everything i say is gospel and should be believed despite whatever memories you have left. 🙂

    sooo…..

    Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. ~Ernest Hemingway

    A hangover is the wrath of grapes. ~Author Unknown

    I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk. ~John Marcellus Huston

    The first thing in the human personality that dissolves in alcohol is dignity. ~Author Unknown

    When the wine goes in, strange things come out. ~Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, The Piccolomini, 1799

    If drinking is interfering with your work, you’re probably a heavy drinker. If work is interfering with your drinking, you’re probably an alcoholic. ~Author Unknown

    If four or five guys tell you that you’re drunk, even though you know you haven’t had a thing to drink, the least you can do is to lie down a little while. ~Joseph Schenck

    This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought. ~Samuel Johnson

    Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, it is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver. ~Jack Handey

    I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. ~Frank Sinatra

    Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. ~Dave Barry

    The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

    I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on. ~Oscar Levant

    Remember: “I” before “E,” except in Budweiser. ~Author Unknown

    Everybody should believe in something; I believe I’ll have another drink. ~Author Unknown

    If you wish to keep your affairs secret, drink no wine. ~Author Unknown

    A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her. ~W.C. Fields

    Beer is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems. ~Homer Simpson

    I drink only to make my friends seem interesting. ~Don Marquis

    When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. ~Henny Youngman

    I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. ~Winston Churchill

    How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink? ~Author Unknown

    If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat – in other words, turn you into an adult. ~P.J. O’Rourke

    Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. ~Benjamin Franklin

    Never cry over spilt milk. It could’ve been whiskey. ~”Pappy” Maverick, in Maverick

    Victoria Grey:
    I’d rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal labotomy – author unknown!

    “When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we comit no sin, we got to heaven. So let’s all get drunk and go to heaven.” George Bernard Shaw

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