Rottweiler Owners Manual.

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  • #61737
    Anonymous
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    THE ESSENTIAL
    ROTTWIELER OWNER’S CONTRACT

    I do hereby swear that I/we will abide by all the terms & conditions specified below.

    Upon signing this contract I fully understand that all my Rottweilers dreams will be realized for ever more, and they shall assume their rightful position as the center of the universe, leaving me as a mere human slave.

    GENERAL CONDITIONS
    • My Rottweiler’s desires are always paramount. My Rottweilers wish is my command.
    • GIVE, SHUT UP and LEAVE IT are all useless requests, so I will stop using them.
    • I will not yell at my Rottweiler for slobbering everywhere after drinking, then chase him around the house with a “drool towel.”
    • I will not abandon my Rottweiler for trivial reasons like “going to work”.
    • I will not yell at my Rottweiler for creating “chew toys” from objects they find laying around which I should have picked up.
    • I will try much harder to understand my Rottweilers language.
    • If people were warned I might nip them if approached unexpectedly/had my space invaded, it is then on their head if I ever do. They should have left me alone.
    • I will never go socializing with other canines without my Rottweiler.
    • I will not laugh at my Rottweiler for being confused over not being able to find the lump of ice he buried earlier in the day.
    EXERCISE REQUIREMENTS AND DOGGY SOCIALIZATION
    • I will not chase my Rottweiler around yelling HERE! when he is busy socializing.
    • I will not complain my arm is tired after only throwing the ball 50 times.
    • I will not confuse my Rottweiler by throwing snowballs for him to fetch.
    • I will not drag my Rottweiler from interesting sniffing spots during our walkies.
    • I will not hide or place my Rottweiler’s ball in a place where I know he couldn’t possibly retrieve it from and then ask him to go and get it.
    • I will drop whatever I am doing and take my Rottweiler out as soon as he asks me to.
    • A little rain and a cool breeze is no excuse for not walking my Rottie.
    NUTRITION AND GROOMING
    • I will not run out of treats. Ever!
    • I will always carry around cookies & treats and will instruct all my friends to do likewise.
    • I will never eat anything until my Rottweiler has tasted what I have and approved it for me.
    • I will share everything I eat with my Rottweiler.
    • I shall take my Rottie to the Dog salon as often is is neccesary to be pampered and preened.
    AROUND THE HOUSE
    • I will not sneak around the patio, wearing funny clothes and a face mask, to test whether my Rottweiler is a good watchdog.
    • I will not yell at my Rottweiler to “HURRY UP” when he’s just looking for the right spot to take care of business.
    • Once he has found an acceptable spot, I will not stare while my Rottweiler is doing his business.
    • I will open the back door as soon as my Rottweiler sits by it.
    • I will never again leave my Rottweiler at home if I intend to go driving in the car.
    CATS
    • I will not bring home anymore cats.
    • I will get rid of all those cats we currently own.
    • I will protect my Rottweiler from all obnoxious little human things at all times.
    • I will not have another one of those obnoxious little human things.

    THE CHRISTMAS SEASON
    I will not make my Rottie wear silly looking antlers or red Santa hats.
    I will not make my Rottweiler pose for pictures with some fat stranger in a red suit.
    I will not tie leftover ribbons, tinsel and bows all over my Rottweiler and call it “Christmas Spirit”.
    I will accept that my Rottweiler shall play with the green tree covered in shiny ball-like ornaments.
    I will remember to stuff a stocking and buy several presents for my Rottie.

    Signed: (Owner)

    #108847
    *Lassie*
    Member

    ;D ;D ;D hope you have signed it 😉

    #108848
    *Nat*
    Member

    will not sneak around the patio, wearing funny clothes and a face mask, to test whether my Rottweiler is a good watchdog

    Excellent advice that one  😀 LOL

    #108849

    i love the ice one too funny!  😀

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