Thought you might like this
YELLOW URKA-GURKAS–Dog runs around the house and hides under furniture
while making a
prolonged ‘uuuurka-guuurka, uuurka-guuurka’ noise. ( this noise is the only
thing guaranteed to wake
up a true dog lover who is hungover from a post dog show celebration at
3:30 am ) After mad
scrambling to capture the dog and drag him outside the episode ends with an
indelible ten yard line
of slimy yellow froth from the living rug to back door.
BLAP DISEASE–Dog exercises hard and a) eats large mouthfuls of snow
(Winter Blap Disease)
or b) drinks a bucket of water (Summer Blap Disease). Within 2 minutes of
returning inside the dog
spews out large amounts of clear slimy liquid while making a distinctive
‘blap’ sound and sharp
percussive noise as it hits the linoleum.
GARKS–Dog suddenly clears his throat with loud and dramatic ‘gggaark,
gggark,’ noises, generally
followed by prolonged ‘iiikssss’ and then loud satisfied smacking noises.
There is nothing on the rug.
Don’t investigate, you don’t want to know.
RALFS– Appropos of nothing, the dog strolls into the dining room and waits
til the innocent dinner
guests are all watching him. Then with a single deep gut-wrenching
‘raaaalfff’ disgorges the entire
week’s contents of his stomach on the dining room rug. VARIATION: then he
eats it.
In all the above events, the dog is entirely healthy and indeed deeply
pleased with himself.
Val
.
That is brilliant fraid have to nick a copy of it best laugh had in ages.
