You Know You’ve Waited Too Long to Find a Partner When . . .

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  • #62906
    *Lassie*
    Member

    You Know You’ve Waited Too Long to Find a Partner When . . .

    1.you talk about “scoring” you mean how you did at last weekend’s
    agility show.
    2.. you meet a guy named BOB and instantly visualise red and blue rosettes.
    3.. you think nothing about loudly discussing studs and bitches in a
    fancy restaurant.
    4.. the first thing you notice about a guy is what breed of dog he has.
    5.. you think stripping is something you do to a terrier.
    6.. your biggest turn-off is a guy with an obnoxious, untrained dog.
    7.. you have ever ruled out a guy as a prospective date based on the
    breed of dog he owns.
    8.. you dismiss all the guys your mother introduces you to as “not
    breeding quality”.
    9.. you never could stick to a diet to impress a guy, but you can do
    it to get through that Olympia final.
    10.. your only nice jewellery features either dogs, dumbbells, or rosettes.
    11.. you have a video on how to artificially inseminate your dog but
    last watched a dirty film in sixth form.
    l.2. your dog has more letters after his name than the last ten guys
    you’ve dated, and actually completed obedience school.
    13.. you start using operant conditioning techniques to get what you
    want from your boyfriend, and you hide your copy of “Don’t Shoot The
    Dog”.
    14.. you think that maybe your current guy has potential if you use the
    proper combination of positive reinforcement and the occasional
    well-timed ear pinch.
    15.. you “people watch” at Tesco’s by making mental lists of the
    conformational faults each by-passer has to contribute to the gene
    pool.
    16 you think if you ever did marry and have children that you
    wouldn’t have to buy a playpen because you already have an extra
    x-pen. And why buy a crib?? Crates are cheaper and they’re enclosed on
    all sides.
    17.. you give all of your married friends child-rearing advice based on
    your extensive background in dog training.
    18.. your mother’s worst fear is that you’ll have a child and make it
    wear a collar.
    19.. your mother’s second worst fear is you’ll get married and your dog
    will be in the wedding party.
    20.. you actually have friends whose dogs HAVE been part of the wedding party.
    21.. your cousin tells you how much her wedding costs you think how
    many show-quality puppies that could buy you.
    22.. all of your friends always include your dog in any invitation they
    issue to you. Of course, you reciprocate because you only have doggy
    friends left … the others have stopped inviting you anywhere because
    you insist on bringing the dog!
    23.. you read the personal ads; you skip past the vital statistics and
    rule out any that don’t say “animal lover”.
    24.. you know your dog’s cholesterol but not your own.
    25.. you lament to your friends about chronic yeast infections, they
    don’t know you’re talking about your dog’s ears.
    26.. you last had a professional portrait done in your teens, but you
    just spent 50% of your dog’s purchase price having his done by the
    best canine photographer in the country.
    27.. you and your dog use the same kind of hairbrush, and you
    occasionally forget whose is whose.
    28.. you spend 8 hours grooming your dog for a show the day before,
    and 1.25 minutes ponytailing your hair the morning of.
    29.. you think that people with bad bites shouldn’t be allowed to breed.
    30.. your mother is ecstatic to see you browsing the aisle with the
    hair colouring, after hounding you for three year to try
    highlighting. … Only to be disappointed when she finds you are
    looking for peroxide to “touch up” your dog’s drool marks.
    31.. someone mentions single bars, you wonder if they are talking
    about agility jumps.
    32.. you go “clubbing”, you have your choice of the all-breed club,
    the ring-craft club, the obedience club, or the agility club.
    33.. you once made earrings out of old dog ID tags, and all your
    friends wanted a pair.

    #114059

    think number 19 is probably my mums worst fear  ;D

    #114060
    *Lassie*
    Member

    [quote author=SuzAndTheDiva link=topic=13458.msg257677#msg257677 date=1231964068]
    think number 19 is probably my mums worst fear  ;D
    [/quote]

    ;D ;D ;D

    27.. you and your dog use the same kind of hairbrush, and you
    occasionally forget whose is whose.

    I’m probably guilty of that :embarrass:

    #114061

    urgh yeah guilty of that too specially when i look like i got dragged through a hedge and have to go see chiropracter  😀

    I also happen to agree with the bad bites thing  >:D

    #114062

    14.. you think that maybe your current guy has potential if you use the
    proper combination of positive reinforcement and the occasional
    well-timed ear pinch.

    😀 😀 thats me

    #114063
    *Lassie*
    Member

    [quote author=SuzAndTheDiva link=topic=13458.msg257684#msg257684 date=1231964349]
    urgh yeah guilty of that too specially when i look like i got dragged through a hedge and have to go see chiropracter  😀

    I also happen to agree with the bad bites thing  >:D
    [/quote]

    😮 😮 😮 ;D

    #114064

    what its true i really hate bad teeth  :vomit:  😀

    #114065

    LOL!

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